It feels so shameful.
Something you definitely don’t want to talk about.
Add to that the guilt you feel over it and you have a situation that can lead to disaster.
There is a reason I haven’t been around much over the last few weeks.
I have self diagnosed something inside of me.
I noticed it in the little things. The way I snapped at my daughter. The way I inwardly rolled my eyes when it was time to change, yet another, diaper. The way the fussing of the baby started increasing my blood pressure.
I noticed it in the big things; the way someone would spill the milk and the only one holding back tears, was me. I heard it in my inner monologue, that was probably the worst.
My thoughts went something like this; “You aren’t doing this mommy thing well. You aren’t good enough. You don’t get enough time with the kids. And when you spend time with the kids, then your house is a mess. You should be getting more sleep since you are so grumpy. Don’t sleep anymore because you have to keep your house clean. You need to discipline the kids more. You need to stop disciplining and spend more time hugging.” It was the making of craziness.
I started telling my husband I was not doing well. I explained it to him by saying that I felt like I was pouring out and not getting refilled. I was running on empty. I had Mommy Burn Out.
Yes, it’s a thing.
When I was a teacher, toward the end of the year, I would always start feeling the burn. A year of loving on my kiddos, making lesson plans, being political with parents and administrators and teaching finally got to me. I think it’s what happens to any good teachers, and subsequently, it probably happens to anyone who wants to be a good…anything. As someone who so desperately wants to be a good mama, I was running myself ragged trying to make that happen.
The good news is that it is a fairly simple fix, if you find it early enough.
The words you hear when you take a plane ride are the same that apply to parenting. You need to put the safety mask on yourself first. You can only be a good mama, when you are taking the time to take care of yourself. I think this rings true to all mamas, but especially in the summertime, when there aren’t as many activities and school is out.
Mamas, you gotta take care of yourself if you want to be the best mama you can be to your little ones.
To do that, figure out what rejuvenates you.
I took my Bible, and my journal to the coffee shop. I didn’t even open my Bible the entire time, but spent the full hour and a half processing through what I was thinking and what I needed. I figured out how much time I need in order to be a good mama. I figured what things I can do to rejuvenate in order to better love my children.
I can tell you that list later this week. For now, if you are a parent, ask yourself how you are doing. Do you have any signs of mama (or daddy) burn out?
- Do you find yourself being short or impatient with the ones you love the most?
- Are you exhausted constantly?
- Do you find yourself struggling to do even the simplest tasks?
- What does your inner monologue say – what are your thoughts saying about you and your parenting?
- Are you tempted to cry or get upset of the simplest things? (Like spilled milk)
If you are showing signs of mommy burn out, then take some time to evaluate what you need. What are some things you can do to rejuvenate so you can be the best mama for your kiddos?
Have you ever experienced mommy burn out? I had never experienced it before this. It isn’t shameful, it just means you are trying to be the best parent you can for your kids. That’s a GOOD thing!
What are some ways that you rejuvenate as a parent? Think about what you used to do before you were a parent.