I am writing down my thoughts for these last few days/weeks before baby for my sake, to read and reminisce in the future. But also, for your sake. Whether you are a friend or family member wondering what is going on, or you are just joining me on this journey. Here is the story of last Friday…
My husband likes to sit close to the front at church. I’m more of a back row person myself, but the front is growing on me.
As we sat in one of the frontal rows, these thoughts permeated my worship.
If my water breaks, do I just sit here and let the chair soak it up? Or do I make the awkward and embarrassing walk to the bathroom (about a mile away) and dribble the whole way?
I pondered these things on my own for a while, before asking my husband his thoughts. He voted on the second option. Clearly, he has no idea the embarrassment of walking past rows and rows of church going people with a baby trying to come out of you.
Luckily, my thoughts were unnecessary. It didn’t happen.
I tried to focus on the worship, truly I did. However, my thoughts have just been elsewhere for the past few days.
On Friday, I woke up a 3:00AM to consistent contractions. They weren’t awful and I could talk through them, but they were the same contractions I have had with my other two. I timed them, they were about five minutes apart.
Around 5:00AM, Greg and I talked about whether he should go to work or not. At this point, they were consistently coming between 4-5 minutes for about two hours. We decided to go the Labor and Delivery, rather than him going to work.
From my experience last time, with Benjamin, I really didn’t want to have to walk around the hospital for a few hours before being admitted, so we stayed home and walked a bit. Greg called his mom to come and watch the kids. We packed our bags and did some last minute cleaning. As the kids played at the park, I walked around it. The contractions at this point were about 2 minutes apart, consistent. They were strong, but not really painful. Since I have never had painful contractions on my own, I figure this is what it’s like when I go into labor. So far, with my other two, I have had contractions like these but my body won’t go the whole way and deliver a baby without pitocin. I figured this one would be the same.
Greg and I stopped and grabbed some food on the way to the hospital and I had a few really good (aka painful) contractions. Still, in my mind and heart, I was trying to prepare myself that there was still a possibility I would be sent home.
We got to the hospital and the nurse didn’t even put us in a triage room; after I told her what was going on, she put us directly into a delivery room.
I looked around at the sweet table for the baby and my heart started getting really excited! Soon, I would be meeting my little one! They gave me the gown, and all memories of my last delivery (only 17 months ago) came flooding back. I started getting more and more anxious to meet our child.
The nurse put the monitors on me while I chatted with her. I tried to make small talk, but this nurse was all business. Friendliness was not part of her job description, I guess. She asked me a bunch of questions and then checked me.
It was time for the moment of truth. If I had progressed any, then I would probably be staying, but if I was still the same as I was at my appointment the day before, probably not.
OH, the disappointment to hear that I was exactly the same place as the day before at my doctor’s appointment. Although I was contracting like crazy, NOTHING was happening to start this labor!
She gave me the news I had been dreading. I could walk around for a bit, but it probably wouldn’t make a difference. I was going to be sent home.
We had the baby gifts in the car, the car seat ready for our little baby, our bags were packed…and we would be going home without even using any of it.
Now, I must stop here and say that I know I should be grateful. I still have a baby (who is VERY active, I might add) and I still get to look forward to his/her birthday. However, when my heart was so hopeful and ready to meet our little one THAT day, the disappointment was pretty great.
So, in the end, we drove home. My husband was supportive the entire time and even watched the kids so I could sleep once we got home.
So, what now? Now, I get to experience what so many moms have come to know and loathe called, prodromal labor. Basically, it’s labor that feels like you are going to be having a baby, but…you don’t.
This isn’t the end of the story, folks! We WILL have a baby, just…not today.
Probably not tomorrow either.
Have you ever heard of, or had prodromal labor? Sometimes, I wish I could just KNOW when this baby is coming. At least then, it won’t feel so much like I’m going crazy!