If we were to have a coffee date, I would want to go to a coffee shop. In the past, we have just sat on my back porch. But, if we are at my house, then we will never be able to talk. So, to the coffee shop we go.
I would probably be waiting for you. I don’t get much alone time these days, so when I have the chance, I will soak it up. I might have been sitting there for about fifteen minutes or so, just people watching and reflecting.
Silence is something that we take for granted in this crazy world. Being able to get quiet and just think is one of the greatest gifts I can have during this season of life.
We might make small talk; you tell me about how parking was a disaster. I might mention that I only have about two hours before I have to get home to feed the baby.
Then, we would get into the good stuff. This is the reason I love coffee dates. I want to know more. I want to go deeper. I want to hear about what’s bothering you, what’s making you happy or sad. I want to share what God has been teaching me. I want to let you know about the recent battle I have fought and (hopefully) won.
I might say that a few weeks ago, I was so frustrated with my three year old. She was driving me nuts. And yes, there were even times that I felt like I didn’t even like her. I knew I loved this little one with all my mama heart, but she just wasn’t being very likable. Or maybe, that was me.
Then, I realized that this wasn’t her fault. She is a THREE year old ! She is supposed to test the limits and try my patience. It is written in her job description somewhere. However, I was not doing my job well. I was not loving her and being patient with her. I wasn’t teaching her through these trying times, I was just getting frustrated and angry.
This is where you might stop me and tell me that you totally understand. You might tell a few stories of how you struggled through this stage. Or you might just sit and listen, maybe you have never had the same experience and you are trying to decide whether to judge me for it or not.
Through wise counsel of other mamas and much prayer, I realized that I was not disciplining well. I was being very reactive instead of proactive. She would do something and I would respond in frustration, rather than expecting the behavior and being ready to deal with it. I have been spending more time with her alone and she is thriving. She is a totally different little girl than she was a few weeks ago, or maybe I’m a totally different mama. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Whatever it is, I am so grateful. I have enjoyed my little girl so much lately, and I am so glad.
I would tell you that it seems that the more time I spend in the Word of God, the more I am able to love my family. It’s amazing, really, how when I miss my time with God, I become an unloving and unkind mama. I become a selfish wife. Yet, when I make that time a priority, it seems that He gives me the power and strength to love on my family. I am so grateful for the grace of my family and the grace of God. I can be such a mess.
What about you? How are you doing? I still have half my chai tea left, so let’s get to the good stuff…