I love my unpredictable, predictable marriage

A friend of mine had an affair.

It started out so innocently…but, don’t they always?

She wasn’t super unhappy in her marriage, just bored. She said she didn’t want to wake up to the same bowl of oatmeal each morning. She needed to live life and that meant leaving her husband. It was all just too boring, too predictable.

husband and wife

I happen to like oatmeal. It’s what I have for breakfast just about each morning. I like knowing that it will be constant. I know how to make it good, just the way I like it.

It’s like my marriage.

I like knowing that I get to wake up to the same man each day. I like that he knows what I like . He knows what makes me tick and what makes me ticked off. I like that I can’t keep things from him. I like that he knows when I get that look in my eye, it means there is something I need to tell him. I enjoy gazing into his face and watching his eyes, knowing what he’s thinking without him having to say it. It’s the same face I’ve been looking into for years, and yet, each time I glance at him there is something different in his eyes. Something new to search out and learn.


I know what to put into my oatmeal to make it sweet. Just like I know what to put into my marriage to make it sweet. I know my husband loves it when I greet him at the door with a kiss. I know he never tires of hearing how I am so grateful that I get to be his woman. I know he prefers the sponge tilted up so it drains down the sink and doesn’t rot.

I love knowing him and being known. I love that I can sing random songs at all times of the day and he will want an encore. I know that he loves it when I do the funky chicken dance in the kitchen. I love it that he challenges me to be a better woman just by his example.


It isn’t that our marriage isn’t exciting, or unpredictable at times. He may come home and tell me that he wants to go deep sea fishing off the coast of Alaska. I might tell him that I want to publish a book. He might leave me notes in the fridge. I might buy an outfit, just for him. There is always something new to learn about each other. Oh no, this marriage is certainly not boring.

But while we might be unpredictable at times, our marriage isn’t. I KNOW him and his love.

I love my bowl of oatmeal, I wouldn’t trade this unpredictable predictable marriage for anything.

I wish I would have been able to tell my friend that if her marriage was so boring, that maybe she should try to spice it up. It has been said that if the grass seems greener on the other side, maybe you need to do a better job of watering your grass.

It’s our job to figure out ways to keep our marriage the best it can be. Everything worthwhile in life takes some maintaining; marriage is no different. If you find yourself bored in your marriage, figure out what you can do to work on it and make it the best it can be.

If you want to take on a challenge for a month, then check out my book, The 30 Day Marriage Challenge:

Warning: This book could drastically change your marriage!


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  1. Ruth says:

    Have you told your friend that what she is doing is sin? Confronting your friend with her sin is love in action. If she is a believer you are loving her by confronting her with her sin. She needs to have counseling and church discipline imposed.

  2. susan says:

    what a wise and wonderful post! People who are unfaithful always think the problem is their spouse and so changing partners will fix it. They don’t seem to realize that they carry their issues with them. Wherever they go, that’s where they are. At some point, they will need to fix their own problems. Hopefully, they won’t leave a wake of broken relationships and hurting loved ones behind them.

  3. Susan says:

    I love this! I love being married!! People just don’t try hard enough anymore and we live in a very me-centered world.I feel like I keep seeing Christian couples I know who are suddenly not together anymore. Some are friends I have not seen in a long time and I will see on facebook that their husband is no longer in their pictures and that their ring is not longer on their finger. It breaks my heart and I have spent whole days in tears over these sweet people that I love so much! I am leaving tomorrow with my husband to celebrate our 10th anniversary and I still feel like we are newlyweds! I love how well he knows me and how safe I feel with him.

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