To myself four years ago,
Hey newlywed! Yes, I know you still feel like a newlywed although you have been married for over a year. I also know that at times, marriage is hard and frustrating. Right now, every disagreement feels like huge deal. That’s okay, you are laying the groundwork for good communication. That will come in handy in a few years when you don’t have the time to sit down for hours and talk through things.
Right now, you can’t get enough of your husband. He is everything you always wanted and more. You will continue to feel that way, but you might forget at times. In the midst of babies and boogers, those romantic feelings are pushed aside. Don’t stop them though, you can still have romance in the midst of diapers and doody. Look for it. Look for ways your husband continues to be your hero. You can see it when he takes the kids so you can catch a quick nap. You can see it when he offers to go the store for you, even though you know how much he hates it. You can see it when he changes the poopy diaper, cause we know that it is his least favorite task.
Speaking of diapers, that is in your future. Much closer than you realize. I know you think you are going to be teaching for a few more years, but… get ready. This will be your last year for a while. When school starts and you start feeling queasy all the time, well, it isn’t from stress, like you think. When you fall asleep at the dinner table, it isn’t because work is making you exhausted. Unless you count the work of making a human.
Soon, your life will be richer with the addition of a little firecracker named Gracie. Then, before you know it a little bundle of cuteness named Benjamin and not too long later, a little blessing called Levi. They will fill your heart and your time.
Enjoy your long baths, your red wine and your sushi. It will be awhile before you will get to experience those again.
Take time to breathe in the peaceful moments when there is no sound, soon, you will forget what silence sounds like. And above all else, self, get ready…you are in for quite an adventure.
Your elder (by four years) and wiser self