Things you hear when you announce your fourth pregnancy

Recently, we announced our fourth pregnancy.

It was an eye opening experience for me.

I have a secret for you, though. It’s one that might come as a shock to you.

It’s something semi controversial. It’s offensive. It’s repulsive to some and annoying to others.

You ready?

I want a large family.

Siblings (1)

There, I said it. It’s out in the open. The cat’s out of the bag.

Here is where society would want me to hang my head in shame. Large families aren’t cool. Aren’t they are bad for the environment or something like that? I mean, look at the Duggars!!

Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I could give you a long list of reasons why I want a large family. Maybe I will do that in another post. However, this post isn’t about that. This post is an informational piece for you. I want to give you a chance to walk in my shoes and hear all the fun comments that I have when I announced our fourth pregnancy.

fourth pregnancy

  • “You know what causes that, right?” This might be my favorite. It’s probably because I love to respond in a snaky way. Of course we do…why do you think we have so many? What can I say? I really like my husband!
  • Are you planning on being like the Duggars?” This comment comes from people who, I can only surmise, do not know math facts very well. I believe the Duggars have something like twenty kids, right now, we are going on four.
  • “Do you know how much money kids are?” The way I see it is, God has given us money for life. We can choose to spend it on a variety of things. You may choose to spend your money on a fancy vacation to Europe, a new vacation home or a boat. I choose to spend it on our family. When it comes down to it, I can’t take my new boat with me when I die.
  • “Why?” This is one of the most common ones in our culture. Why on earth with you have another child? Well, why not?
  • “Well, I’m not babysitting all those kids.” If babysitting was my only reason for having children, then I probably would have stopped at one. Loosing a babysitter doesn’t change my desire for having children.
  • “Are you hoping to get your own reality show?” Not really. Unless, it’s like a cooking show. Then I can get all those fun cooking gadgets for free.
  • “After this…you are done!” Yes, we have been commanded to be finished with having children after this one. Somehow, that makes the rebellious side of me want to have even more. (But that’s not a good reason to)
  • “You will probably keep all the baby weight and will become really fat.” This is a fear I have. These kind of comments play into my baggage from when I had an eating disorder. I love to run and work out, though. AND these munchkins keep me very active. However, IF I do get really fat; well, at least I will be surrounded by little ones that think I’m beautiful!
  • The worst one…Silence. This is one of the hardest ones for me this time. Probably because two of the people that are the closest to me gave me this response. When you are hoping for delight and you receive silence in return, it is hard. I’d much rather be ribbed about getting my own reality show than be met with a blank stare.

Benjamin and Gracie

I know having four children seems a little crazy. However, here’s a crazier thing: if God wills, we aren’t done yet.

I took my three for a walk and was feeling our little peanut moving around inside my belly, and it hit me hard, “I want another.”

So, be prepared. It’s possible that in the next few years, you might get a fifth pregnancy announcement. For those that aren’t sure what to say when someone announces their pregnancy, here are some tips.

  Levi (1)

You might also like:

10 things not to say to a pregnant lady



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4 comments

  1. Lydia @ Thrifty Frugal Mom says:

    Ah, I can relate. We have 4 kids- 3 here with us and 1 in heaven- and I’m pregnant again. We definitely have gotten some interesting responses from people when they found out we were pregnant with these last 2 pregnancies. The one that was the hardest for me was when I shared the news with someone who is close to me and their first response was, “Are you excited?” It wouldn’t have stung so badly had they even simply congratulated me first!
    Lydia @ Thrifty Frugal Mom recently posted…12 Ways to Be a Blessing on a Budget

    • Tales of Beauty for Ashes says:

      Well, and tone is huge. Someone saying, “Are you excited?” when their face and tone shows that they obviously are, is much easier to take than someone who says it with a morose and questioning tone. Keep those babies coming, I LOVE them!

  2. Rachael says:

    I hope to have four, possibly five kids someday and think it’s such a shame that people react that way. Friends with four or more kids have shared that they got that response too. We’re hoping to be able to announce a new pregnancy soon, and the other day a family member urged us to wait to try to get pregnant saying if we thought it was tough now with one just wait until we have more! I’ve never told her I think it’s tough now, really our daughter has been such a blessing that that’s not where my mindset is. She was looking at her own experience though and projecting it onto me. So funny how in a society that screams that you can’t ever tell anyone that any of their sinful choices are wrong otherwise you’re hateful is so quick to belittle and look down on people who have a heart for a large family.
    I love to see big families that are thriving and enjoying it!

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